The guy who got away with murder

Can you imagine a man who already had six wives by the time he reached his early 50s? What if I told you that this guy actually had two of them killed and got away with it? And not only that, but this bloke managed to change the official religion of his country so that he could divorce his first wife.

If you are Mexican, you probably think this is a good plot for a telenovela … if you are American you might be wondering if this is what the next season of ‘24’ will be all about … if you are British, you better know who I am talking about!

Henry VIII was king of England back in the early 1500’s and was quite a character. I seriously don’t want to bore you with a history lesson; it’s just that I was wondering if a country’s ruler would be able to get away with so much these days …

Let’s pretend that a mainly Catholic country – Mexico for argument’s sake – had a king and not a president. Let’s call him Enrique, which is Henry in Spanish.

Well, Enrique decides that his wife of 24 years, Caterina, is not good enough because she has not given him an heir and wants to divorce her and marry his wife’s maid: Anita. Now, the obstacle here is that they are Catholic, right? So, he goes to Benedict XVI and asks for an annulment of his marriage and the Pope says ‘nein’. So Enriquito, decides then and there to make Mexico a Protestant country, and calls himself head of the Church of Mexico.

He marries Anita just to get bored of her three years later and puts his eyes on Anita’s maid, Juanita (told you – soap opera material). So he accuses Anita of links with a drug cartel (actually he accused her of witchcraft, but this is the 2008 version after all), has her beheaded (ouch!) and 24hrs later marries Juanita. Juanita dies while giving birth to a son within the year; so Quique (short for Enrique) goes to a dating site online and finds a German gal called Anita (yes, he also had a thing for Anas and Caterinas).

But when he sees Anita the German in person, he realizes that the photo she used on her profile is much better than the real thing. He marries her, but divorces her 6 months later to tie the knot with 19 year-old Caterina. Quique is already 49 by now, so Caterinita starts having fun with some younger boyfriends around the palace making her hubby jealous. Good’ol Quique does what he does best and has her beheaded.

That same year he marries yet another Caterina who looks after him in his old age – yes, 50 is old age – until he dies 4 years later.

I learned all this gossip while helping my daughter revise for a history test. No wonder she keeps telling me that she loves history!