Crisis vs Transition

Someone told me once that the difference between a forty-something man and a forty-something woman is the way they approach middle life. Women go through middle life transitions while men through middle life crises.

I was in my mid-thirties when I was told this, so I remember laughing at the comment and not thinking too much of it. That is until now that I’ve crossed the demographic line that labels me as a middle-aged woman.

So this is the way I see it now:

Women transition into middle age by taking a good careful look at what we have and we then assess it in our own womanly way: “Is this the job I want to do until I retire?” “Is this the man I want to be with until I die?” “Is this the body I want to have?” We reflect, we analyze, we carefully take a decision and then we take action over a reasonable period of time. And this is because we are well aware way beforehand of what is coming with mid-age: our body is changing, our husband is aging and our job, family and relationships' priorities have naturally shifted since we were in our 20s or 30s.

Men, on the other hand, go into crisis mode. Let’s remember first the definition of crisis: “a critical event, usually sudden and unexpected, which if not handled in an appropriate and timely manner (or if not handled at all), may turn into a catastrophe by damaging or threatening the life, reputation or assets of a company, person, country or the environment.”

So, in a few words, men don’t see it coming until it hits them right on the nose! They sail through their 20s and 30s and all of a sudden they find themselves with a beer belly, a job where they are not where they think they should be, and a wife who is not 25 anymore and … they panic!

No need to list all the possible consequences of a man’s midlife crisis … we know the common ones such as suddenly joining a triathlon, or buying a convertible car, or over-flirting with the young blonde assistant … but what about the midlife crisis at work?

I think that greed could be a symptom of it. The level of greed that has seen the collapse of the global economy, maybe? Let's make it clear that I am NOT saying that ALL middle aged men are to be blamed for mishandling the world finances … but what if middle aged women had been in charge of the banking system during all these years, instead?

Maybe instead of a financial crisis we would be living a financial transition.